You can talk dirty via text message, phone call, or FaceTime. You can do it before sex as foreplay or post-sex as aftercare. Dirty talk can be enjoyed even in the total absence of sex, just for fun rather than as a means to an end.
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- It’s clear from their reactions that they don’t hear those things very often, if at all.
- There’s no need to get fancy or poetic; you’re not writing an essay for AP Lit, okay?
- Know that you don’t have to dive right into graphic dirty talk if it feels awkward or odd—in fact, dirty talk doesn’t even have to be that dirty to be effective.
- It makes me feel like what I am doing is actually connecting me to my husband even more, as opposed to objectifying him, or feeling objectified by him.
Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness, says before you talk dirty to your partner, get their consent. Here are some of the benefits of talking dirty as well as sex therapist-approved tips for how to get started. You may think that you have to be completely serious when you’re talking dirty, but you don’t. A lot of times, people forget that not only is sex fun — but it can be funny, too. If you can loosen up enough to have a good time, laugh about it, and relax, you’ll be amazed by what sort of good time you can have. Communication is at the heart of every sexual connection.
Introduce the idea to your partner.
If you invite him in explicitly, he may see that what happened was a blip, something you can both get over with minimal effort. My interpretation of this experience is that you were both playing around and he went a little too far. It’s completely human to misjudge, and it’s completely human to react to that error.
“Basically you want to negotiate dirty talk ahead of time just like you’d negotiate any other sex,” she says. “Keep an open mind and have the mentality of ‘Yes, and…,'” dating coach Adam LoDolce tells mbg. “If someone says something a bit off, just roll with it and add to it.” Be the person that champions someone’s sexual fantasy, not crushes it. The dirty things you say to your partner should feel natural and flow with the moment.
Instead, try something like, “I want to lick your nipples until you’re leaking precum.” Using anatomical terms for body parts might work for…doctors, but cold, clinical language often undercuts the passion of the moment. Canned porn lines like “Who’s your daddy?” are equally likely to induce eye-rolls as they are arousal. We want every couple’s bond to become stronger, and there is no better way than through the prism of sexual intimacy. If user-submitted stories (not to mention free!) are more your jam, check out Literotica or Archive of Our Own—if fan-fiction is more your style.
- If the idea of group play piques your interest, sexting can be a safer way to start exploring that, too.
- Porn is an obvious place to hunt for inspiration for examples of how to talk dirty, though Dr. Jansen suggests looking in the ethical porn or feminist porn category to ensure that it’s mutually respectful.
- “After all, sex is so much better when you let go of perfectionism,” she says.
- These 10 tips should definitely help ease you into it.
- Time to draw out the sexperience, and time to get creative in what you say.
They also like to discuss the sexual acts that might come next, as a lead-up to them. So why the embarrassment over sexually explicit words being whispered in my ear during sex? It could be because it calls attention to the act of sex itself. Some people, like myself, are more inside their heads during sex while others are definitely more in the moment and verbal. When it comes to dirty talk, proceed with caution — not everyone is into it, and those who aren’t can be majorly turned off by it.
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What is it about erotic communication that increases our sexual arousal? When we look past the kinkiness, we may find there’s more to dirty talk than our desire to bring out our wild side. Talking the talk is a huge part of a healthy sex life. Chatting about everything from likes and dislikes to fantasies and exciting future plans. Doing all those little things that help your partner feel loved and desired.